Here's a couple of things that no one ever told me about breastfeeding that would have been good to know. I want to share these things with you so that A) you don't think you're losing your marbles, and B) so you can be prepared for it and plan accordingly!
Our son was 9 days old and we were attending a large family dinner at a local Mandarin Chinese buffet restaurant to celebrate an occasion with my husband's side of the family. I had it all planned out.... I would feed our little guy at home before we left, and then would arrive at the restaurant on time for the reservation. Our little guy would sleep and we would have about 2 hours or so before he was due for his next feed.
Everything was going according to plan...
That is until some of the guests arrived about an hour late, and we could not start the festivities without them. I started feeling anxious and panicked, wondering what I was going to do if he woke up and had to nurse him as everyone was touching him, coming down on him like vultures circling road kill. LOL In their defense, they weren't doing anything wrong. Under normal circumstances, I would have been flattered that they were interested in my son and thought he was adorable. And I should have known better than to think that you can easily wake up a newborn! But in my anxious new-mom state, all I could think about was someone waking him up, then having to breastfeed him at the restaurant. (This was obviously well before I ever became comfortable breastfeeding him in public with a blanket, no matter where I was, without having to retreat to a private area.)
Most restaurants don't have a breastfeeding room, and if you know of one that does, I want to know about it! I felt like a deer in the headlights of a Mack truck driving double the speed limit down the highway! I could not eat. I went and got food from the buffet, all the while peeking through the windows into the dining area like a crazed stalker while my husband kept an eye on him sleeping in the stroller.
The other factor playing into my panic was that I had an episiotomy during my son's birth. Only being 9 days after the birth, I still had to use the peri bottle during each visit to the washroom. I kept obsessing about how the hell I was going to comfortably spray myself "down there" in a Mandarin washroom stall! Dignity? What's that? LOL After checking out the washroom to see if there was a chair in there at the very least, (which there wasn't) I realized that I would have to sit on the toilet to nurse him. My episiotomy was still very tender and sore and going to the washroom required delicately sitting down and getting the job done quickly to get out of that awkward and somewhat painful position. How the hell was I going to do all this while nursing my son? It's not like the toilets had lids on them like our toilets at home had for me to sit on.
I remember sitting at the table feeling hot like fire & I could feel myself looking like a lunatic, probably with my eyes bulging! LOL People were jovially talking to me and I just couldn't muster up more than a fake smile and a nod of the head, having absolutely no idea what they had just said. My husband was getting irritated, wondering why I wanted to leave after only 45 minutes of actually sitting down for dinner. Not long after, we did leave, and I could tell my husband was uncomfortable leaving the celebratory dinner without even having finished our meal. (The meal that I hadn't even touched.)
Our son was still snoozing in his car seat when we got into the vehicle to drive home, & I remember my husband being frustrated with me, wondering why I was overreacting and couldn't just relax and finish dinner. I remember feeling disappointed in myself that I did not handle that situation well (or so I thought, because I am normally a confident person, and quite adaptable in a variety of situations). And I knew myself that I was acting irrationally. I just couldn't control the feeling that I had to run out of that restaurant with my son in tow and run for the hills like one of those trolls at a bingo hall used for good luck! LOL
About a week later, I attended a friend's baby shower. I had some anxiety about bringing my son there as well, as my panic attack at the Mandarin was still fresh in my mind. This time I would be completely on my own and would not have my husband with me. Thankfully I did not have to use that peri bottle anymore, but I would still have to figure out where to nurse him. I got there and was chatting with one of the women at the shower and she started telling me her story about her anxiety attack the first time she had to breastfeed her baby in public - during a wedding ceremony, when the baby woke up crying in the middle of the bride coming down the aisle!
Now, the average person would probably not think that either of these situations were a big deal. But when you're a new mom, surviving on little sleep and have whatever modesty you have left after all those internal exams, (LOL) it turns out that it is a big deal! This woman was the first person who helped me to understand that what I had felt that day was completely normal. It was official - I was not off my rocker (at least not completely! LOL) and that in fact many women experience this in one way or another! Since then, I have heard many women share their stories about reacting this way in the beginning! From that day on, both my husband and I understood better what had happened, and I grew more confident and comfortable nursing my son in public as time went on. I also found that I felt more comfortable and empowered to nurse my son in public when I was with other women, especially those who were also breastfeeding their child.
And 2 more things:
Did anyone ever tell you just how parched you'd get when you initially start breastfeeding? It felt like I had been walking through the Sahara desert for my entire pregnancy! My mouth would be so dry at times and I would get such a strong desire to drink a whole jug of juice that I'd have to get my husband to bring me something quickly to drink - and I mean quickly! The urge was so strong that there was just no way that I could wait until I was done nursing, and it didn’t matter what time of day or night it was! Parched, I tell ya, Parched!! LOL
The last, but not least important thing that no one ever told me was that while you're in the middle of a feed, you may get a sudden urge to have a bowel movement! It got to be so predictable that I had a system with my husband - I had the baby monitor beside my rocking chair in my little guy's room and would scratch it with my finger nails until my husband would wake up and come running into the room to get the baby, so that I could go and relieve myself! This happened to me almost every single night, usually around 3-4am. (Of course as a new mom, I also had the monitor cranked up to maximum volume in our bedroom, so it didn't take much to wake him up that way. He probably felt like he was waking up to a horror movie every night with a ghost scratching at the window! LOL) This is another one of those things that I thought was only my issue – but sure enough it wasn’t. People don't usually talk about this sort of thing, but really should to help other parents!
I hope that sharing my experience has helped you. (Or at least entertained you at my own expense! LOL) I urge you to share this with every new Mom or Dad, or Parents-to-be! If anyone had told us these things before I had my little guy, things would have gone a lot more smoothly!
***** These views are mine, and mine alone. As with anything, you are responsible for assessing whether this item and/or activity is safe and suitable for your specific needs. InfoMommy does not make any warranties of any kind, expressed or implied, and assumes no responsibility and/or liability for any actions taken as a result of this blog post.*****
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