Think Twice Before Telling Someone They're Lucky!

   

Deborra-Lee Furness, wife of famed Australian actor Hugh Jackman recently expressed feeling insulted with people telling her that she is lucky.  In Australian's Women's Weekly, she is quoted as saying: "That to me is a putdown," she warns. "(It is) like you suggesting I won the chook raffle. I think we create our own destiny." And you know what? She's right! At least she is in my humble opinion.

You see, I've always felt that way! I have done relatively well in my life to date. I am nowhere near rich, but I am financially stable for the most part. Growing up we didn't have a lot of money. I took out student loans for my post-secondary education.  I put in the work to graduate. I laid plans to get the job I wanted and made it happen. I made choices and took risks. Many of them in fact, most of which were calculated. I struggled, used food banks at times when first on my own and making very little money. I stuck to my guns and looked onward. My student loans accumulated, and I eventually dug myself out of them by working hard and paying them down. I am now and have been employed in my field of choice for well over a decade. And it wasn't from luck. It was from determination, cold calling, making sure that potential employers noticed me! Convincing them to give me a chance and a leg up. And not taking no for an answer. Perseverance, I tell ya!

I'm married to a good man. It might have been luck that we met that night, but it's not luck that I married him. I made a choice. I vetted him. I tested him. I observed him. I made sure that he was the one that I truly wanted. That he would be a good father to our kids, would provide for us and protect us. I took my time and was decisive with that too. Determined to pick the right one, not just someone. Someone who would not "babysit" his kids, but that would actually parent them. That would help me clean, do dishes and laundry, and not be full to the brim with machismo. A man who realized that if I work outside of the house too, then taking care of the house would need to be a shared responsibility. Even one of my grandmothers told me I was setting my sights too high. But I wasn't going to settle for just anyone. I wanted what I wanted and needed. And I made it happen.

There are only 3 things off the top of my head that I can truly say I was lucky over - 1) that my kids were both born healthy, 2) that I once won a 50/50 draw worth about $500, and 3) that I was lucky enough to be the one chosen to win a Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer. Now that was luck! The rest was blood, sweat and tears. Determination, perseverance, tenaciousness, not letting struggles pull me down, but allowing those moments to be a lesson, and to use those situations as fuel to propel me even harder towards my goals in life. Even if at times I felt beaten down and discouraged. I've been through a lot in my young(ish!) life. I've suffered a lot of loss and hard times but I'm not going to let that hold me back or hold me down. And no, it's not because I have a horseshoe stuck up my lady parts! It's because I made a choice to win, not to fail. To fight instead of surrender! 

Having people tell me over the years that I'm lucky that I have this and that, or that I've done this or that is insulting! Especially when coming from people who know or should know where I've come from, what I've done or had to go through to get where I am today. I didn't get here playing a scratch ticket. And even if I had of, I wouldn't have the knowledge and experience that I have now. So despite all the hard work, successes and failures, I wouldn't change a thing! It's made me who I am today - (un)lucky! LOL

Most people would never dream of trying to insult someone purposely. And they would probably be shocked to know that they've insulted me. I've only recently started politely correcting and educating people when they've called me lucky. I'm writing this post to make you aware, so that you know that you might very well be unknowingly insulting people.

The next time the word "lucky" starts to roll off of your tongue, make sure you think twice before saying it. Make sure it's what you really mean and that you are doing the person justice.

Now, go buy yourself a lottery ticket and get lucky! Keep on truckin' everyone!  :)

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